swaggywhale:

astroprojection:

slattern:

what if one of you is a private detective hired by my parents to get close to me and monitor what i do on the internet

#AND WE FELL IN LOVE #AND YOU WERE TORN BETWEEN DUTY AND YOUR UNRELENTING LUST FOR MY SPEEDY REBLOGGING

i smell a fanfiction

confusedtree:

estrellas-rojas-y-amarillas:

today in social studies we were talking about ships

and my teacher was like

“what makes ships sink?”

and some kid shouted

“when others ships have a canon”

and i realized

What are the chances that this is even remotely true

hotbestfriend:

how to get a bf

1. idk 

trust:

i kinda want a relationship but i kinda wanna punch myself in the face

male character: i made a mistake

fandom: oh you poor misunderstood soul

female character: i made a mistake

fandom: WANTON MISTRESS OF THE NIGHT, RETURN TO THE SHADOWS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, THIS IS NO PLACE FOR YOUR SELFISHNESS PLEASE GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’

bamwamjam:

maybe when dogs bark they’re actually beatboxing and waiting for us to rap for them

kidouyuuto: